Fact

It has passed for a month... How do I feel now? Unanimously, better! But I am still afraid of facing her... Afraid of her innocent face, smile, everything... 3 weeks to go, back to where I should be. Few days ago, we had a little interaction through FB. I was very happy even though the fact is still the fact... Hope there will be a chance for me, just like what the theme song of my page trying to deliver! I am worrying of what should I do when my friends and I are hanging out including her?!?! It's impossible for me to act like "what's happening? oh! really?". Despite, it is still hardly for me to say "cngtraz!!!". Although that's what I should do, but it's too difficult and it hurts... Perhaps, I can just stay at home, accompany my family or hang out with my teammates and coach?!?! The truth is, it can be anyone, but, honestly... not her! Here comes another problem. What if her best friend and I plan to go somewhere else? She will definitely bring her together... OH gosh! What should I do in order to let me feel better in front of her???

BETTER

Today is the 10th day after the unfortunate incident. It was suffering and depressing! Suffered by the fact, the fact of losing something... Depressed by the thing I lost... Well, it's still a shinny day after the rain! The sun is still hanging brightly on the sky, the flowers are still showing their beauty to the world, the bees are still working as well as the ants. The world is still as wonderful as before, everything is still as fine as before. Today, I went to Taipei to meet with my Chinese teacher, Mr.Bong! We met in Cheng Ping bookstore of Shi Lin. I am so happy to have the chance to meet with him in Taiwan. It was a rare opportunity, and I made it! After that, we found a coffee shop and had a cup of coffee. Once again I was surprised by the price of the coffee and foods serve by the shop... So EXPENSIVE!!! Anyway, thanks for the coffee and cake from Mr.Bong. The coffee was very nice as well as the cheese cake^^ We had a wonderful talk in the shop! Bu3, my basketball team, panda, little panda and so so much more we have talked about... It will be better if Shao Yong was there, but he couldn't make it because he is having an exam tomorrow. All the best to him and "one road smooth wind" to Mr.Bong. I will visit you when I am back to Malaysia and get ang pau from you^^ Besides that, I will bring lots lots lots of people together... MLY, Michael Khai, Zi Yi, Zhi San... haha =D See you next year!!!

有如天气般冷

台湾已渐渐入冬……寒冷的天气搭配寒冷的心，简直是绝配！事情已过了大约一星期，冷却的心还是结着冰，可能很难溶成水，更别想能像以往般的沸腾。不知为什么，这已是我在台湾过的第二个冬，可是这次的冷却是打从心底的冷，而且冷得有点可怕。自从那天，每晚都在梦中度过，没有一晚的安宁。思路图也被打乱，精神快到达崩溃的阶段，心情是冷的！无论如何，在我觉得精疲力尽、心酸无奈的时候，还有朋友安慰。虽然起不了多大的作用，但至少有缓和我当下的心情。也有朋友在曾此时用这件事来作弄我，我只能无言地接受，因为不想给无为的回答。这几天都在听歌，希望能借此消愁。但过了这些日子，只是发觉在自欺欺人，没效。希望这心情不会持续到我回国，因为回国也意味着我要面对事实的时候了。已答应朋友会与他们出来聚一聚，想反悔也不行。很害怕面对面的情况！应该装热情？还是表露自己的心情？或把以往的笑容挂在脸上，装没事？现在只能用课业的挤压来压着我的心情，唯一的方法，应该也是最好的方法。

還是朋友

他有點傷心！傷心的不是因為失去，而是因為不被告知。就算不是如願以償，他也會給予你深深的祝福吧？！？！雖然沒能達成目標，但至少他曾經試著去完成。但依然半途而廢，不是因為膽怯，而是害怕將來應面對的問題。問題不在溝通，而是距離！很多人說距離不是問題，他也這樣認為。可是當事實擺在眼前，輪不到他說這不是一個問題。感謝2009和2010，因為這是回憶的開端。也很感謝2011，這事故事的高潮。無論如何，他還是希望你能讓他繼續現在的感覺、熱情與思念。 在回憶中的2009，你給他的第一個印象是，os：＂這女孩是誰啊？看起來就像個小孩子嘛！form2還是form3的學生？為甚麼到我們的班來？這裡可是form4的班叻……是不是迷路了，還是進錯了班？如果是進錯班，那有好戲可看了！哈哈哈……＂現在他回憶起當時的情景，只能說太有趣的開端了。有多少故事的開端是如此？ 在2009的某某一天，他們有了第一次的對話：＂eh　***** ******......為甚麼你看起來那麼像小孩子？＂＂什麼？（快氣爆的樣子）你才像小孩子叻！＂＂（驚訝的樣子）你才像！＂＂（不服輸的樣子）你才真正的像！＂......就這樣鬧到不知什麼時候？！2009是開心的，是趨近於完美的！也是故事的源頭！ ＂eh ***** ******!在你還沒跟我同班以前，有沒有聽說過我的名字？＂＂有啊！不知道什麼*** ******的。聽起來很出名，很了不起的樣子。cheh......（不削的樣子）原來才不過如此。＂＂（被氣爆的眼神）什麼不過如此？！難道不是有如聽說中的嗎？老實點告訴我喔！＂＂er...事有點啦！但沒有聽說中的那麼特別！只是一個比較高的男孩子罷了！＂......就這樣地不知有了第幾次的交談。 總於2010了！這是才是事情的開始。在這期間，他很像對你說心中的話，可是想想自己已做的某個決定，決定恨下心不講。而且他也不知道你心中對他的看法是什麼？！他深怕被拒絕，因為被拒絕後，可能以後相處時會尷尬，交談不再自然。就這樣地，就來要畢業了！許多人告訴他向你說出心中的一切，但他依然堅持自己的決定。在聖誕節那晚，他傳了簡訊問你最想要的聖誕節禮物是什麼？你說：＂Lol...santa santa，我想要收到一份有意義及親手做的禮物。:)wakaka...just kidding only...＂雖然你說你只是在開玩笑，但他卻很像完成你的心願。最後他決定了自己親手做一個！他約了你和幾位朋友到ou。他在你還沒到前的兩小時已在那裏尋找著要親手做一份禮物的材料了。在其他朋友的建議下，他總於買好了。回到家，立刻開始做。Ei...材料不夠耶？沒關係，他又請了一位朋友到原來的店再幫他買一些。買了回來又繼續地做。不知不覺，他已做了大約三個禮拜一，也總於做好了。但他沒立刻給你，因為他還有一個MASTER PLAN。 到了2011，他到外國去打比賽去了。在比賽的期間，他不停地尋找要買給你的手信和你即將到來的生日禮物。找著找著，最總還是找到了！在這準備的過程中，他好像沒什麼讓別人知道，只是自己默默地做，默默地籌備與準備。總於從外國回來了。他還在煩惱禮物盒的問題。由於準備的禮物太多，很難找到適合的禮物盒。結果他自己找了一個盒子，買了禮物紙，自己開時做禮物盒。總於到了你生日那天。他請了他最要的兄弟專程載他到你家，結果你不在。他當時又點不知所措，結果把他轉交給你的姊姊，在又你姊姊交給你。他希望你會喜歡他所準備的一切。在裡頭還寫了一封信。信的內容其實很簡單，但裡頭其實也間接告訴了你他對你的感覺，不知你知不知道。結果，他就這樣地離開了到外國升學去了。 人雖然在外國，但依然無法把你忘懷。他把你送他的禮物放在床頭，希望每晚睡覺前能看見你送他的禮物，也代表看見了你；在每早起身時，也能看見你送他的禮物，也是代表著你。日子一天一天地過去，你也有了自己的朋友，有了自己的空間，也有了自己的另一半！但......他，依然會繼續對你的感覺！

祝福

祝福 你+們 相處合融融 但還是有一句話要說 謝謝^^

English? Malay?

為了保護自身安全，所以我選用中文兼繁體字來表達我對主國最近實施的教學政策的感想。 忘了在哪一年，我國政府做了一個為人驚悚的決定，就是將英文作為數學與科學的教學語言。這個政策可說是我在主國生活這麼多年裡聽過最好的決定（真心話）！經過了幾年的歲月，我國的英語水平很明顯的有很大的提升。在今年的年頭，我國還被列為亞洲英文水準最好的國家。這篇報導是我在yahoo裡看見的。當時心裡默默地說＂這哪有可能啊？＂不過事實擺在眼前，輪不到你不相信。這也證明了當事的首相－敦馬哈迪醫生做了一個很好的決定。是他將我國帶入國際，走向國際。在目前，他還是我心裡馬來西亞的No.1首相（這不意味先今的首相不好）。除此之外，利用英文教學也能讓學生在大學前打好英文基礎，以便在大學能更快地適應大學生活與教學語言。除了許多西方國家在大學理所當然地利用英文為大學語言教材，就連台灣，一個注重傳統文化的國家，在大學也利用英文做為教學主語。除此之外，台灣生在高中是必須通過一個全民英文檢測，通過了才能上大學。由於我的人現在處於台灣，蠻了解這裡的教學方式，所以才會提到台灣。在台灣，本地生都很羨慕馬來西亞的同學，英為我們能掌握多個語言。＂Eh人仁（我的名字），你會多種語言啊？＂＂Er... 我會中文、英文、馬來文、廣東和福建。＂＂哇！超屌的！＂這是我剛入大學時，常常被問到的問題和得到的回答。自古以來，馬來西亞人最出名的就是語言能力。通常我們都能掌握兩種語言或以上，這是我們的特色。無論到世界的那個角落，我們都能不畏懼地跟當地人溝通。 給現在的馬來西亞教育部長的一段話： ＂我張人仁，出生於馬來西亞的雪蘭莪州，今年18歲，現在在台灣國立清華大學就讀工業工程與工業管理系。在這裡，透過網路，我得知主國要將馬來文做為數理學科的主要語言教材。當時，我的心裡只有一個遺憾浮出，＂現在馬來西亞的學生真慘，他們未來的路一定很辛苦如果這政策真的被施行。除此，他們會逐漸遠離國際，接近被遺忘的道路。＂在這裡，我真心地希望政府能慎重考慮這課題。這不是關於馬來文在國際或本國的地位了，而是關於國家、人民、學生等的未來。無論英文在我國多普及地被實用，馬來文還是我國的國語。就連台灣也能做到這點了，為甚麼我們－馬來西亞不行呢？＂ 上文全屬個人意見，共做參考。

Titleless

It has been quite long that I left my blog not updated... Since after I came to Tsing Hua, life is being busy and living with packed-schedule! Almost wake up at 7.30 in the morning, sleep at 2 in the morning... It sounds kinda weird, sleep in the morning, wake up in the morning?!?! Yeah, this is what people called university life. Life with full of disarrangement. You will never know what time you would have your meals! You will never know that couldn't you finish up your homework! Everything is being unknown now, and I am suffering about it... Studying in Taiwan is not the best but it's the best among the worst! Why would I say that? That's because everything here is all about "Beethoven", it's what we called 背多分 in Chinese. It means that the more u memorize, the higher points you can score in exam!!! I prefer practical studies!!! That's the way how I survive until now... Sigh... Anyway, I am still appreciate that I have the chance to come overseas and study. Compare to many many of my friends, I am still considered as the LUCKY one =)

第一周

终于完成了大学的第一周！该怎么形容我的心情呢？应该是既好奇又无聊吧?!?! 为什么会无聊呢？我也不知道 =.= 10成应该是教授们都太有深度了吧！呵呵…… 尤其是上物理课的时候，简直是被教授弄得团团转。第一章拿出大刀挥来挥去——相对论…… 我能做什么？除了无奈还是无奈。也只能硬着头皮赶上教授的进度。除此之外，我在课堂上还遇到一个很倒霉的事！好冷~好冷~ 冷气机就在我的左上方，一直不停地往我吹…… 当时简直就冷到不能专心听老师上课嘛。 已在清大过了17天！这里可真得配得上经典的一句话，“好山好水，好无聊！”这句话可以很明确地形容我在这山明水秀的大学的感想。学校坐落在半山，校园里有4个湖，然后最重要的是他离新竹市区有一段距离，所以好无聊。在这里遇到了许多不同种类的人，我指的不是肤色，而是人格！ 有友善的；有好玩的；有勤劳的；更有少不了的高傲的！在大学可说是在一个小社会里生活与学习，我们必须学会一人沟通，也必须学会与环境沟通。总而言之，有好多好多东东等着我去学习的。但在这个当下，我学会了一件事情，也是我父亲一直告诉我的事，就是做人不能太天真。我现在真真体会到了。在这小社会里，有又奸又坏的人！那好人要怎么办呢？好人必须比他们更奸，但必须奸的正直，这可是做好人的前提！ 好的也说了，坏的也说了。那就讲讲生活上的困难吧！金钱是一个很重大的问题。进了这小社会，你必须学习自力更生。没钱的时候学习找口饭吃；学业上出问题时找教授、副教授或学长出来好好熬夜一番（熬夜只能找学长那个啦 =P）。要考试时，就不要熬夜了！平时就好好熬夜吧。 物理、微积分、工程导论、计算机语言等等的必修课挤得我喘不过气来了…… 就只有今天会比较闲空，那就是星期五^^ hmmm... 其实我想找一份工作，填填自己金钱的困缺。很可惜，暂时还没找到一份适合的！我所谓的适合不是自己喜欢的哦！而是可以配合我的上课时间的。找不到、找不到、找不到…… 苦恼！ 好啦！竟然如此，我只好省、省、省…… 省点用！无论如何，还是要在最后一句替自己加油！加油加油加油……！

Life is a race

Some people live with happiness... Some people live with sadness... Some people live with anxiety... Besides, sometimes you just can't imagine why some people can live without any worries!

How about my life? Hmmm... The best word to describe my life is EXCITEMENT!!! Haha =)

Why?

Since I was 14, I was chosen to join the basketball team of my school, which is one of the best team in Malaysia, no doubt... I got my first gold medal for my first tournament surprisingly!

When I was 14, I represented Petaling Jaya to play for MSSS! Surprisingly, I got my first gold medal in this stage and it's also my first time in this stage!

One year later... I was 15... I went for another MSSS game, which was a very important game for 15! We were shocked by our first game... We lost... We were so disappointed and feel so down... Luckily, there was a man who motivated us, who gave us hope! At the end, we still won the tournament =)

We continued our win-win journey in the district games, which is MSSD!

I am proud to be a part of my team, honestly... It's a pride to be in there!

Finally, I was graduated. With our parents support, my teammate, coach and I went to China to play some basketball games there... We play with the best high school in China! It was a very good experience I had in my life. It's hard to imagine when there were more than a thousand people sitting in the auditorium and look at you play basketball! I felt like I am just a like a NBA player man... Hahaha =P DREAMING

Before our very nice China trip, we also represented Malaysia to play for Asia High School Tournament! Unfortunately, we only got third for that...

With much of luck, I chose to study in Taiwan, where my seat is pressuring on now! With more and more of luck, I was about to study in one of the best university in Taiwan, which is Taiwan National Tsing Hua University^^ PROUD!!!

Before I enter my UNI, which is now, I mean the moment I am writing all these stuff! I got a feeling which is bad for another person, and I don't know whether this feeling is good for me or not??? I am so confusing now... Very confusing... Should I tell my feeling to the 'another person'! I am afraid that I will hurt that person if I tell... But I am afraid too if I don't... What should I do man??? Honestly... I shouldn't did that if this is the final result I got... Haiz...

Just wanna say... I am not fully ready yet~!

What should I do?

“撞墙”

刚过的下学期期中考是我在台湾的第一个噩梦！噩梦！噩梦！（呐喊）
考什么，就读什么，结果就忘什么…… 无奈 =.=
坐在考场，头脑一片空白。无论是多熟悉的数字、文字、符号…… 都被我忘得一清二楚 T.T
感到伤心及痛恨自己！为什么在这重要关头献给自己这一份“大礼”？
考试前没玩通宵读书；考试时早睡早起，可是精神却比通宵读书来的差。带着熊猫般的脸色“上场”，带着睡猪般的精神“出场”……
进入倒数的一个月了！我还能做什么呢？冲？
咳…… 无论如何，希望能考进自己理想的大学！因为我还有一个<愿>需要完成

Frenzzzz

To ......:
How I think about my friends?
The first person I will think about my friend is "Small Lai"!!! Hehe... As all my friends know^^ I remember I had quarrel with him when we were young... What do I meant by young? When we were 12 to 14! We always had an argument... Because we had different view of point! But no matter how, we are still the best friend for each of us... No one can crew us up... Many people like to ask us "Aren't both of you brothers?" No... We are not... But we are like brothers with different type of blood^^

How about you? Who is the first person appear in your mind when people talk about friends?

When I was 14, I met a girl who is a bit "ki xiao"(Cantonese)! She likes to eat very much, like a pig as I always tell her that... She realized that, but she just can't change it, because eating has became part of her live... The first thing came into my mind when I had my first sight at her is "Wow... Who is this girl! She is pretty!" We always ask each other "Eh! How do we get to know each other in the first time?" But... No one knows the answer, neither me nor her... Haha^^ It's fate, make us met each other!!! Miracle happen every day! Do you know why? Who know that her house is just right opposite of my grandma house?!?! Haha... Both of us always laugh at it...

I just had a wonderful high school journey! You know why? Haha... I met another girl who had became one of the 8 important people in my life!!! The first thing came into my mind about her is "Wow... She is pretty and smart weih..." LOL! Another pretty girl!?!?! Are there so many pretty girls in my high school? Yea, there are^^ She is really smart... As smart as... Er... ME=) *PERASAN* And time past slowly and it made 3 of us always stay close together!!! What did we do together? We gossip about others rumors... We share our secret... We made promise to each other that we will keep in touch wherever and whenever we are...

But... As time past slowly, we had graduated, and 3 of us are separated to different places... I had chose to pursue my study in Taiwan! Both of them chose to take Form 6 in Malaysia. The first thing that will go to our mind is, both of them will definitely choose to study in the same school! But the fact is they do not... Why? Because they had an argument... What are they arguing about? I have no idea?!?!
Yo friends... We were the best gang among all the gangs, we laugh the loudest in the class... We talked the most that everybody thought I am one of both of you bf... But what had happened to both of you? Chill man... Our friendship can solve every difficulties that we face... No one can brake it... I hope so... I know so do both of you!!!

At the end, I wish I would hear some good news from both of you... ^^ SINCERELY

好聚好散

在三個月前，我離開了培育我長大的馬來西亞！當時的心情是很捨不得的……在那時我才真正了解什麼叫離別.我離開了父母、弟弟、家人、朋友、同學、隊友、教練…… 就在最近，我得知一位在我中學生涯中很重要的“半人半動物”也要離開馬來西亞到英國去留學了，如果沒收錯消息的話！嗨…… 本以為在明年的農曆新年就可以與他見面，人算不如天算，恐怕是沒機會了……“朋友”啊！請問你要去多久呢？農曆新年時會回去馬來西亞嗎？如果你讀到我此刻的心情你肯定哭得半死吧?!?!哈哈=D
無論如何，祝你一路順風！

What Happen???

What happen to me recently? It was all mess after I have been to Taiwan... I have experienced in failing MATH! Which I had not ever tried before in Malaysia... Besides, physics drives me like CRAZY... Both of these subjects were my 'favorite'! But now, they smudged on my results... What happened???

Fresh Environment and Experience

Today is the 12th day of my new try out in Taiwan! It's pretty sunny compare to past few days... It was freezing! Two days ago, I planned to go back to Malaysia. This is because there's no courses that I interested offered by all the universities in Taiwan... I was struggling of to make a wise decision. I was pretty afraid of making a decision that I'll regret forever. I had asked for my friends and parents opinion. Most of my friends suggested me to go back and pursue my studies... In other hand, my father had analysed all the aspect that I have to consider of... Anyway, he will support any of my decision, as long as I can study with happiness^^ In the end, I am still the one who need to make the final decision... STRUGGLING! I was confusing... Before I slept, I keep thinking of my final decision, because there's no much time for me to consider! In a sudden,“煩惱無盡誓愿斷” flashed by my mind. In the mean while, I had decided to continue my studies in Taiwan. Although I know I will loss lots opportunities in Malaysia... But I wish that I could have a different experience besides in Malaysia. Perhaps lots off people will say that I am stupid or whatever, but I will not regret of the decision I had made =) In the end, I hope that all my family members and friends will support me... Their supports are my inner energy to keep me on my way...